I used to hate it when my ex would say that to me.  It always made me feel like he still loved her.  Why would I want to be with someone who still loves his ex?  

My ex and I broke-up almost 2 years ago now, well, “officially”.  We tried to be friends then realized we couldn’t, so we didn’t talk for a couple of months.  Somehow, we still manage to find each other and keep each other company and it didn’t help with the situation.  He was always bringing up the fact that we could have made it work, if I just didn’t give up on us.  

The problem with us was that we were just completely different people.  We were the same in a sense that we were both family oriented.  We were both athletic.  We both had our own faith.  It seemed like we were a match made in heaven, but our core values were complete opposite.  There were a lot of things he thought were “ok”, which I found disrespectful to our relationship.  He would apologize for hurting me, but not for his actions itself.  He doesn’t think they’re wrong…but in fairness, he would stop doing it for the sake of not hurting me.  

Eventually, he felt like he was losing his personality, while all along, the changes he was doing was just not cutting it for me.  I walked away because it wasn’t healthy anymore.  We kept fighting over the same things and I knew he was eventually going to resent me.  I stayed with him even though I was already miserable because I thought if you really love someone, you stay, no matter what.  I thought it was my “fault” if I just walked away from it.  Afterall, we always managed to get back together after our break-ups, so maybe we were really meant to be.  

He had such positive influence on me and despite him resisting, he later admitted that I had a positive impact on him.  We were good for each other, but our difference in values made him like a walking time bomb, because he doesn’t know what is “right” or “wrong”, atleast based on my perception.

We tried to remain friends for almost another year.  November 2010, his friend died and from it, we had a serious talk about life, “us”, everything.  The day after that was when I put my foot down to tell him we’re not to speak again…at least not anytime soon.

It’s been over a year now since I last saw him, but we have exchanged messages 3 or 4 times this year.  I realize that what he’s said to me before now makes a complete sense.  I will always love him.  Despite all the heart ache that we went through, I acknowledge the good from it and how he had pushed me to be a better person.  

When you let go of someone you really cared for, you don’t just forget about everything, as if it never happened, you just move forward and learn from it all.  I love him, in a sense that I will always have a special place in my heart for him, but I managed to find someone else to love more.